“My kid is the smartest!” “Look at what my kid drew in art class!” “Can you believe how amazing my son is?” “My daughter is the most beautiful girl in the entire world, she won all of the beauty contests she entered.”

“My husband drives me crazy!” “My spouse never picks up after himself.” “Why doesn’t my husband treat me like that other woman’s husband does?”

It’s funny how we are so quick to brag on our children to other people, but when it comes to our husbands, we are so quick to throw them under the bus and say the worst thing we can think of about them.  There are just as many things we can say about our children, they are messy, they throw their clothes on the floor, they drive you crazy and countless times you secretly wish they acted like other perfect children you see. Yet, when we have an opportunity to talk about them, we choose to say how amazing they are. It is a different story when it comes to the man we chose to love, honor, and cherish for the rest of our lives. 

I don’t think these are intentional acts that we do to hurt them, but I do think that we need to become intentional women of greatness and if you are a man who speaks only negatively about your wife, then I am talking to you as well. When you only bring up the things that your spouse does wrong, other people will begin to focus on those things too. It is a vicious cycle that begins with your words and can only be broken by your words. That old phrase “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” was so wrong. When you tear down your spouse with your words, it will always end badly for everyone.

Your husband needs to have you building him up, he is your hero, your prince, the King of your castle. Make him feel like that and he will treat you like a princess. When you are around other people, only share the good things he does, never bring up the bad. If you can’t think of anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. That has always been good advice for many years.  Remind yourself why you married him in the first place and begin to thank him for being a good provider for your family. Make him feel appreciated.

Some of you might read this and start saying, “What is in this for me?” “Why do I have to do this for him?” My answer to you would simply be because he’s your husband and you love him. You made a vow to honor him and that is the first step to making your marriage go from good to great if it’s not already there.

If you want to have a great marriage, start by taking good care of the one you love. Even if they don’t deserve it just yet, or you’re not ready to spoil them, try it anyway. Give a little, watch how love breeds love, it works, I promise! Soon, you will be telling everyone how amazing your spouse is, and if you didn’t mean it before, you will!

 ©2022 Marsha Lynn Brown